Why ESPN Sucks 2: The Sequel; Featuring ROYs Candidates.


Well, if you never read the first, “Why ESPN sucks” I talked about why ESPN and all its reporters, analysts, etc sucks.

Example one:

Today the Braves beat the Marlins. That means the Braves and Marlins have identical records, and… You know what? Just take a look for yourself…  



Yahoo Sports:


Fox Sports:



You if can’t tell, one of these sites posted the Marlins in second place (hint: Its the one that sucks).

Seriously ESPN? How petty is that?? No, not petty, pathetic, more pathetic than the Braves’ offense. Oh, and thats not fake, look it up (before the Marlins – Braves game on Sunday) though.

Example 2:

 ESPN lied to me (and everyone else watching). They told me that I should stick around because Tommy Hanson would be there. What they should have said was, “Stick around, we’re going to show videos of Tommy Hanson and talk about his heavy balls.” They would have told the truth, and generate more viewers.

Example 3:

Jonathan Coachman. General rule of thumb. If it’s not good enough for the WWE, its not good enough for ESPN, or anything for that matter.

Example 4:

They’re need to please everyone. Apparently ESPN figured out that no one outside of the northeast cares about the BoSox-Yanks rivalry. What do they do? Enter Buck Showalter:

“Are you sick and tired of the BoSox Yankees series? We’ll I think they should not play so many games, we should limit the amount of games they play.”

Listen d**chebag, They are both ML baseball teams, and they play in the same divsion, they have to play games against eachother, what people don’t like is the obsession coverage by di**wholes like you.

Not to mention, ESPN only wants them to limit games so as not to oversaturated them. Doing that we’ll get more viewers (i.e. Superbowl vs. MLB World Series).

Now, The ROY Candidates!


The American League ROY candidate and most likely winner is Gordon Beckham. Simply because he has no competition, like last years AL ROY winner.

Now the National  League, thats different. I see three possible candidates: Randy Wells, Tommy Hanson, JA Happ. All pitchers.

Randy Wells –

Randy has been just dandy for the slumping Chicago Cubs. Having a turblelent begining of the season by going from the minors to the majors, bullpen to rotation, Randy proved he is the only consistant Cubs SP that doesn’t have temper tantrums, doesn’t get injuried by the stupidest thing, and doesn’t suck. How does the Cubs repay him? By giving him no run support. Thus for the 2009 campainge, he has posted a 9 – 6 record, 2.84 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, and 74k’s. He should be somewhere around 12 – 3, but you don’t get a ROY award by what you should be.

J.A. Happ –

Happ also had to deal with call ups and send downs until things clicked for him. It was not as hard for Happ to get into the starting rotation than it was for Wells to. Phillies could not pitch, Happ finally could, boom. I have called Happ the “luckiest pitcher in baseball” because of his high strand rate and large amounts of run support. Happ has the most innings pitched than either of the other two. He Currently has the best winning percentage (one more win that Hanson). He has the lowest WHIP and ERA (1.17, 2.59). So why isn’t he largly considered the favorite…?

Tommy Hanson –

…Because of this man. Tommy’s stats may not be as good as Happ’s, but he has the one thing that really matters, hype. Hype is what won Soto the ROY last year, even though Jurrjens clearly deserved it. Tommy Hanson is also the reason Glavine doesn’t have a job, if your unfamilar with what I’m talking about, refer to this link. The AFL MVP award might as well be icing on the cake for Hanson. He is projected to be the #1 starter for the Braves next year. Tommy does have more than hype though, he leads both Randy and Happ in K/9, opposing batting average, and P/IP. Talk about Ace material.

Winner –

We’ll it depends, Wells can throw a perfect game, Happ can throw a no hitter, Hanson can “strike out his age.” Its to early to tell.

Congrats Warner Robins, GA Little League team! Best of luck to “y’all.”

Braves need a win tonight! Here’s to hoping Braves take the series!

Thats all for me folks!



  1. Tucker Elliot

    Good post — I’d be okay with anyone but a Philly winning ROY, but to give a serious take on it, the Braves have a shot at the postseason thanks to Hanson, the Phillies offense would still have them in position without Happ, so I hope Hanson gets the nod.


  2. Jurrjens4NLCY

    David, You make a excellent point, Hanson can carry this team, but technically so can anyone of the SP. I honestly don’t know how the writers determine the winner.TribeTed, and Now I’m following you too. Ha. Yeah, ESPN did this right before the Frenchy-Church trade when the Braves and Mets were tied, it is unfreggin’ believable.ttuterry, Pablo, I don’t think is considered a rookie and considering he plays on a team that refuses to win, neither shall he. Elvis at .265 with 5HRs isn’t going to beat Beckham’s .289 with 8HRs. Especially if the Sox make the postseason

  3. ttuterry

    Yea you are right about Sandoval..But the ROY isn’t all about homeruns. Elvis has a better fielding percentage, and also 24 stolen bases. If the Rangers make the playoffs, why not Elvis?

  4. Jurrjens4NLCY

    IF the Rangers make the playoffs, and the Sox don’t, I can see that happening. The thing is Beckham has 8 HRs in almost of the at bats as Elvis. So many things can happen though. Its not fair to pick one until the season is over…. What if Beckham hits a walk-off to take the Sox to the postseason, or Elvis steals home to walk off, etc.

  5. tomatalk

    For your viewers Jurrjens, I do NOT believe Sandoval is eligible. Sandoval had 145 AB’s last year which would be above the threshold of 130 AB’s for ROY eligibility. http://www.baseball-reference.com/bullpen/Rookie_of_the_Year_Award. So, talking about Sandoval is a non-starter. It’s down to Happ or Hanson. I’d tend to agree with you about Beckham though that I think he’s the runaway right now in the A.L., though Andrus will garner some votes.

  6. Jurrjens4NLCY

    Hey tomatalk, I had to push back the writeup to Friday because of school and orientation, sorry about that.

  7. tomatalk

    Heh, I suppose I can live with that! Of course kidding. Take care of school first as that’s always more important than any blog. Get around to it when you can, and if not, don’t worry about offending me. Keep up the good work for now, and, as always, go Braves!

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